Managing Your Emotions: Harnessing Your Anger  

Today we’re diving into a big one: anger. Not just the intense frustration that rattles you for a MINUTE, but then you quickly catch and regroup. We’re talking about the deep, bone-rattling anger when you are struggling to let go of an ONGOING injustice that you see or are right in the midst of. The anger that is part of the GRIEVING process. If you have ever gone through grief of ANY kind, you know the anger that I am talking about.

This is the anger you feel when:  

  • The innocent child who lost their life.
  • The family member that you can’t forgive, because they refuse to change or they refuse to apologize for hurting you. 
  • Watching someone who has hurt YOU or manipulated YOU in the past now doing the same to others.
  • A trust that was broken so flippantly by someone who was supposed to be in your corner… or even worse…in your HOUSE. 
  • An injustice so great… so unfair…that you don’t how you will EVER be able to forgive the person who dealt the blow.
  • People who don’t show up for you when you are at your lows. 
  • People who wrong your children… or any children really. 
  • Watching people in a powerful position, abuse that power to people who entrust them, knowing that it will do great damage to the vulnerable party…but they do it anyway.

I am not talking about someone cutting you off in traffic. These are the things that are much harder to manage your emotions about. The kinds of things that make your blood boil any time you think about them. This kind of anger feels impossible to let go of because it reflects a deep injustice—not just in your personal life, but in the world. You have this vision of how the world SHOULD be. And you aren’t asking for MUCH. Everyone would agree with you that it should be this way…and then it ISN’T. And it REALLY SHOULD BE because what is happening is causing harm to people… it’s UNFAIR… it should stop and it’s not… and it makes you ANGRY because you can’t believe that there is nothing you can actually do about it.

It’s the anger that steals your focus, your joy, and your ability to move forward.

But here’s the thing: anger itself isn’t inherently bad. It’s how we manage — or mismanage — it that determines whether it will fuel growth or hold us hostage.  

What Is Anger Really Telling Us?

Anger is a powerful emotion. It’s a FORCE that feels like it comes out of nowhere, but quickly possesses you, turning you into someone you don’t recognize, and worse, you don’t really like. It QUICKLY puts you in the red zone, where you can’t think with a level head anymore; it makes you want to REACT and not RESPOND. Angry is pure, concentrated energy that signals something is deeply out of alignment with your values or beliefs. It’s a flashing neon sign shouting, “Pay attention!”

But here’s where most of us go wrong: We’re ashamed of our anger, so we shove it deep down where we think others won’t see it. Sometimes, we fear it because of its intensity. Or, on the flip side, we lash out and take everything in our path. The thing is, whatever you’re reacting to likely won’t change overnight. Real, meaningful change requires mental clarity and ACTION, none of which are easily achievable when acting out of anger.

That said, here’s a game-changer: Instead of turning OUTWARD and lashing out or looking for the causes of your anger, how about you turn INWARD to discover what this anger is trying to tell you?

Anger isn’t a flaw—it’s information. It’s your emotional system sending you a message that something needs to be addressed.

From reaction to response: Managing anger productively

When we first feel anger, our first instinct is often to react—to lash out or seek revenge. But these reactions rarely lead to real, positive change. Instead, we need to shift from reacting to responding. This means noticing the anger, following it inward to discover its root, and using it as a compass to guide constructive actions.

Next time you feel anger, ask yourself:  

– Why am I feeling this way?

– What just happened that triggered this response?

– What belief or value of mine was disrupted?  

– Is this something I need to address, or do I need to let it go?  

Deep down, you have this version of how the world SHOULD go tucked away in your beliefs. And anger comes up when reality doesn’t match this vision you hold, either consciously or unconsciously. The goal is to learn how not to let our anger be a match that ignites an explosión but a compass that guides you to the belief that you hold deep inside that was disrupted.

You don’t need to feel GUILTY or SHAMEFUL about your anger. When managed well, anger can be a powerful tool for personal growth. It’s not about suppressing or ignoring it but about using it to uncover deeper truths about ourselves and the world around us.

Many people going through Metabolism Mastery feel ANGRY when they realize how much they have been lied to about food. Most people are walking around unaware, or even in denial. But when we finally see it for ourselves, there is this period of anger — the second stage of grief, which is the HARDEST and stickiest one to get through because we have to really learn to let that emotion LEAD us to the root, and most of us miss that piece. 

From anger to action

So, how do we move forward? How do we prevent anger from becoming a soul-sucking force that holds us back from the happy, healthy lives we deserve? Here are some actionable steps:  

Acknowledge the anger: Don’t try to suppress it. Recognize it as a valid response to injustice (perceived or real). 

Understand the root cause: Dig deep into why this particular injustice triggers such a strong reaction in you. I’ve got a journal prompt for this that I will attach when I post this later today. 

Channel the energy: Use that anger as fuel for positive action. Whether it’s volunteering, activism, or educating others, turn that energy into something constructive. 

Educate yourself: Learn more about the issue. Try to understand BOTH sides of the equation. You can UNDERSTAND the other side without having to agree with it yourself. Knowledge is power and can help you feel more in control and rooted in truth. 

Connect with others: Find like-minded individuals or groups. Shared purpose can help process anger and turn it into collective action. Be careful not to find people to VENT to… but people that will help you PROCESS. There is a difference. 

Practice self-care: Anger can be exhausting. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Good food, meaningful movement, good rest, sunshine, community, journaling your thoughts, with the intention of working through them. 

Focus on what you can control: You can’t fix every injustice, but you can control your response and actions. You might not be able to FIX the problem for you or others, but you can control how you show up and you may be able to make small impactful changes that move the needle forward, even if just a little bit. 

Cultivate empathy: Try to understand different perspectives. This doesn’t mean excusing injustice, but it can help manage your anger. It helps remind you that we are all humans and we all fall short. Even them. Even you. 

Set BOUNDARIES: Set them like crazy. HARD LINES in the sand, especially in the beginning. Boundaries are NOT about drawing a line in the sand that other people will need to abide by. They are parameters that you put in place so that you can do the work you need to. ANYTHING that brings your attention away… put up a block for now. It doesn’t have to be PERMANENT, and you don’t have to tell the whole world. It is not about making a statement for others but about giving yourself space to reframe some things, getting more emotionally solid and in a better frame of mind. THEN you may be able to open up those gates some more.

Reframing anger as a tool, not a flaw  

Remember, the goal isn’t to never feel angry. The goal is to not let anger control us or derail our progress. We’re on a journey to better health, and that includes emotional health.

So, I want to leave you with this thought: You are stronger than your anger. You have the power to understand it, to learn from it, and to use it as a stepping stone towards the life you want.

  1. Amanda says:

    I so needed this today!! I have felt some injustices within some of my friendships. Due to my personality style, conflict and confrontation are not my strong suits therefore I have to suppress a lot of anger. This is very helpful to make me feel validated and help me get myself together so to speak to address that anger emotion and help me do something productive with it

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