Where your focus goes

Do you remember playing the game ‘Spotlight’ when you were little? We used to play this all the time with the neighborhood kids. My kids were playing it with a friend recently, and it brought back memories.

If it doesn’t ring a bell, Spotlight is kind of like Hide and Seek. Everyone runs around outside in the dark, and one person is “it.” They have a flashlight, and their goal is to locate their friends and shine the light on them, which freezes the “target.”

It’s harder than you think, out in the dark where all you can hear is whispering here and there. But you can hone in and catch your friends to make them “it.” A key part of the game is that as long as the light shines on the person, they can’t move. But if you move the light for even a second, they can run away.

How does this have anything to do with us, you wonder? Today, we’re talking about focus.

If you’ve been part of my programs, you may know that I homeschool my son. Part of the lesson plan is a mindset course for young athletes that I found. The very first lesson was about focus—can you even think of a better lesson for a 10-year-old boy? Anyway, the lesson got me inspired, and here we are.

Actions, emotions, and beliefs: Where results come from

The outcomes we have are a direct result of the behaviors that we take consistently. Every action we take results in something happening—good or bad, big or small. They move us in a direction. And to accomplish a major change, there has to be a lot of consistent action taken in the direction that you want to go.

Behaviors don’t just come out of nowhere. We tend to take actions based on our emotions and what we desire. Those things are a reflection of what we are thinking about. Not everyone has the same desires or feels the same way about the same things. It could rain and one person thinks, “Ugh, I hate it when it rains!” while another thinks, “Oh bless! We needed this rain so much!” These two different thoughts lead to two completely different emotions.

The thoughts that we have stem from the thousands of beliefs that we hold. Not everyone holds the same beliefs, so not everyone has the same thoughts.

Here is what this can look like: You have a weight loss goal. This is the outcome you are working toward. You know that to achieve it, you have to consistently eat in a way that will get you there. At first, you are nailing it and seeing a lot of results. Then, over time, the motivation fades, the newness wears off, and you start to let your actions slip.

From here, most of us want to spend time being mad about the results—or even mad at ourselves for our actions—but if you are in Metabolism Mastery, you know that we trace it backward:

• How were you feeling when you chose to eat that? Stressed, bored, frustrated?
• Okay, what thoughts were you having to make you feel that way?

The scale didn’t budge, so you got frustrated, threw your hands up, and thought, “Well, I guess I should just eat what I really want to eat, because I’m working so hard and the scale isn’t moving!”

Not everyone has these thoughts when the scale doesn’t move, but maybe you do. Those thoughts stem from a whole host of underlying beliefs:

• You believe that changes should happen quickly.
• You struggle with all-or-nothing thinking.
• You believe that food is either a punishment or a reward.
• You don’t believe in trusting the process or that daily actions will yield long-term results.
• You believe that sacrifice is something you should only have to do for a short period, and that those sacrifices should yield immediate, major results.
• You believe that the number on the scale tells you the entire story.

These are just a few quick examples, but if you have been with us for a while, you know that we are trying to help you rework that belief system—because everything we do stems from it. So many of us have unhelpful and untrue beliefs wired in there, and rewiring them takes time.

Using focus as an immediate tool

Today, we are going to talk about what you can do in the meantime—while you are digging deeper. It’s a tool that you can use immediately, and it is a skill that anyone can develop: Focus.

Our minds have thousands of thoughts running around, like kids in the dark playing spotlight. Some of these thoughts are going to help us take action to achieve our goals; some are not. While the ultimate goal is to rework your beliefs so that most of your thoughts become helpful, right now, we are going to get good at focusing on the thoughts that will help us get there, while tuning out the ones that won’t.

Even the most positive people have negative, unhelpful thoughts pop up. We don’t want to judge ourselves for having them. We just want to learn how to stop giving them our attention so that we can perform better and have better outcomes. We simply let unhelpful thoughts go. We don’t shine the light on them.

Where we choose to focus determines what gets our attention, our energy, and ultimately, what actions we take. The best news is that this is the one variable over which we have the most control.

What is focus?

Let’s start by defining focus as our ability to direct attention toward a specific thought, task, or goal. Defining it as an ability is great news: it means focus is a skill that we can improve. No more saying, “Well, I just can’t focus.” That is a cop-out! This is something that everyone can get better at—just like cooking.

We get better at things by practicing them regularly, just like you did when learning to walk, ride a bike, or swim.

Focusing is simply an act of directing attention; it’s a decision you make. You can choose where your attention goes. Which thoughts are you going to focus on, and which ones will you let go?

The average person has between 40,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. That’s an overwhelming amount of mental noise, and not all of it is helpful, productive, or even true. We don’t have time to give our attention to every single one of these thoughts. That’s where focus comes in.

How focus shapes behavior

Focus determines which thoughts we give power to, and those thoughts directly drive our behavior. If you focus on a thought like, “This is taking too long… I will never get to where I am trying to go,” your actions will reflect that belief. You’ll feel less motivated, you’ll slack on your habits, and you’ll reinforce the behaviors that keep you stuck.

On the other hand, if you intentionally shift your focus to a thought like, “I’m capable of making small progress every day,” your behavior will follow that lead. You’ll make healthier choices and take consistent action because your focus is trained on moving forward. It’s focused on your next step.

Your focus is like a spotlight. Whatever you shine it on becomes your reality in that moment. Shine it on fear, insecurity, or doubt, and those feelings will grow. Shine it on the things you can control, the next step you can take, and the actions that move you toward your goal, and those will grow instead.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.”

This is true in every aspect of our lives. If you’re constantly focusing on what’s going wrong, how hard something is, or what hasn’t changed yet, your energy will reflect that negativity. You’ll feel stuck, frustrated, and overwhelmed. When we feel those things, the actions we take won’t help us reach our goals.

However, if you shift your focus to what you can control right now, your energy shifts too. Instead of getting lost in negative thoughts, you’ll start looking for the next action you can take.

In Rush’s athlete course, they talk about how the best athletes handle high-stress situations (like a free kick in soccer): they tune out their negative thoughts and focus entirely on where they want the ball to go, and where their foot needs to connect with the ball. They don’t dwell on how they feel about the situation; they focus strictly on the physical steps needed to deliver the outcome they want. Instead of shining a wide flashlight, they use a laser pointer. Laser focus.

Focus doesn’t just happen automatically. It takes practice, just like any skill. In the beginning, your mind will wander. You’ll get distracted by unhelpful thoughts or fears. That’s normal. The goal isn’t to never get distracted (I still do!). The goal is to notice when your focus shifts and intentionally bring it back to something productive.

Step-by-step: How to redirect your focus

So, how do we get better at focusing? What do we do when our focus drifts? Life happens, and doubts will creep in. You’ll catch yourself focusing on the wrong things—the things that aren’t helping you move forward. That’s okay. The real power lies in knowing how to redirect your focus back to what matters.

Redirecting your focus is about building awareness of where your attention is going, catching yourself when you drift, and making a conscious choice to shift back to something productive—a concrete task, not an emotion.

Here is the process:

Step 1: Build awareness (NOTICE)

The first step is to simply be aware of what your mind is doing. You can’t fix what you’re not aware of. Throughout the day, we all have moments when our minds wander. It might be a random thought pulling us into doubt, or we might find ourselves hyper-focusing on a problem outside of our control.

The trick is to catch yourself. Start paying attention to the types of thoughts that distract you. Are you constantly worrying about what’s not working? Are you focused on how far you still have to go? The sooner you recognize when you’re slipping into unproductive thinking, the easier it becomes to shift away.

When you catch yourself thinking, “This isn’t happening fast enough,” notice it and label it as an unhelpful thought. Your primary job is to recognize it for what it is: a distraction. Your focus has shifted to something that will not help you reach your goals. Giving distractions your focus and energy won’t get you where you want to be.

Step 2: Interrupt the thought

Once you recognize that your focus is on something unhelpful, interrupt the pattern before the thought takes root. It helps to say something to yourself in the moment like, “Not helpful,” or, “This thought isn’t getting me anywhere.”

By introducing a small interruption, you hit the reset button on your focus. You break the cycle before the thought can spiral into negative emotions and negative actions. Tell your mind—out loud if you have to: “I’m not giving energy to this thought right now. This is not helpful.”

When the thought “This isn’t happening fast enough” comes up, mentally interrupt it: “This thought isn’t helping me take action. What can I focus on right now that will move me forward?”

Step 3: Choose a new focus

This is the key step. Ask yourself: What can I control RIGHT NOW? What action can I take in this moment that aligns with my goal?

Remember, focus is like a spotlight. We want to shine it on something useful that leads to progress. Emotions don’t lead to progress—actions do.

Instead of focusing on the problem, the lack, or the frustration, shift your attention to a small, tangible action you can take right now. It doesn’t have to be big; it just has to move you one step closer. That is how goals are achieved: by taking small steps continuously.

• Example: Instead of focusing on how slow the process feels, shift your attention to the next small step: “I can focus on drinking more water today,” or, “I can get my workout done, even if I don’t feel like it.”

Step 4: Develop focus triggers

Focus triggers are small habits or actions that help you refocus when your mind drifts. These can include setting a timer to work in 20-minute blocks, taking a few deep breaths, or writing a quick to-do list of what you can accomplish in the next hour. Focus on what can be done within this specific time block rather than the whole day.

I don’t think my son realizes this, but when he needs to refocus on the soccer field, he does about 10 high knees and 3 jumps. It’s honestly the cutest thing, and he has done it for a while, even before we started our mindset course!

Having a plan for when your mind drifts helps you snap back quickly. If you’re in the middle of your day and realize your mind is wandering toward frustration, use a trigger: take a 5-minute break, do a quick stretch, or write a note in your food and mood journal. Getting the thought out of your head and onto paper plucks it out of your mind so you can focus on something more productive.

Step 5: Focus on the present action

One of the biggest traps we fall into is focusing too far ahead and worrying about outcomes we can’t control (or may never even face). It’s wasted energy. When your mind drifts into the future or obsesses over results, gently bring your attention back to the present. The only thing you can control is this moment, this action, and this choice.

Ask yourself: “What’s the next best thing I can do right now?”

Instead of worrying about what the scale will say next week or how you will maintain your results for the rest of your life, focus on today: “I can prep my meals for tomorrow,” or, “I can make sure I get a good night’s sleep.” We will troubleshoot the scale if we need to, and we will learn how to maintain weight when we get there. Right now? Focus on the next step.

Step 6: Practice self-compassion

Lastly, remember that focus is a skill that takes time to develop. You will get distracted, and your focus will slip—that’s completely normal. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. When you catch yourself drifting, be kind to yourself and simply bring your focus back to where it needs to be.

Keep practicing this daily, and your ability to focus will improve. Eventually, it becomes second nature, and you won’t have to think about it so much. It will just be something you do.

10 reframing examples: From unhelpful thoughts to actionable focus

Here is how you can redirect common unhelpful thoughts in real-time:

1. Unhelpful Thought: “I have so much weight to lose, I’ll never get there.”
   • Redirect: Focus on this moment. What can I do right now? I can make a healthy meal choice or move my body for 30 minutes today.

2. Unhelpful Thought: “I’ll never look the way I want to.”
   • Redirect: Instead of worrying about the end result, I can focus on feeling good today by nourishing my body and staying active.

3. Unhelpful Thought: “This process is taking too long.”
   • Redirect: Shift attention to small wins. What have I accomplished so far? Maybe it’s sticking to my workouts this week or drinking more water. Celebrate that. Tell yourself how proud you are for making these changes.

4. Unhelpful Thought: “I’ll never be able to resist cravings.”
   • Redirect: In this moment, I can focus on taking control. What can I do right now to satisfy my body’s hunger in a nutritious way?

5. Unhelpful Thought: “I’ve already messed up today, I might as well give up.”
   • Redirect: I can reset right now. What’s the next healthy choice I can make? Each meal and every decision is a fresh start.

6. Unhelpful Thought: “It’s not fair that I have to work this hard.”
   • Redirect: Focus on what’s within my control. What small action can I take today to support my health? Consistency is something I control.

7. Unhelpful Thought: “Everyone else seems to lose weight so easily.”
   • Redirect: I can focus on my journey, not comparisons. What progress have I made so far? What’s one positive habit I’ve developed that’s helping me?

8. Unhelpful Thought: “I don’t feel motivated today.”
   • Redirect: Motivation comes and goes, but I can focus on taking action anyway. What’s one thing I can do right now to move closer to my goal, even if I don’t feel like it?

9. Unhelpful Thought: “I’ll just wait until tomorrow to get back on track.”
   • Redirect: I can act right now. What can I do in this moment to move forward? Every choice counts, so why wait?

10. Unhelpful Thought: “This is too hard; I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”
    • Redirect: I can focus on what’s manageable today. Instead of thinking long-term, what is one small, manageable task I can complete today to build momentum?

Ready to shift your focus?

Mastering your focus is a practice, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you’re ready to break free from unhelpful thought patterns, rebuild your belief system, and take consistent action toward your goals, we’re here to help you every step of the way. Learn more about our programs and discover how you can start transforming your mindset today!