If you’ve ever needed a no-nonsense sesh, this one’s for you.
Week after week, I sit in front of our cohorts and tell my clients how to overcome hard things. I like to think I’m pretty darn good at it. Having gone through my fair share of hard things and coming out the other side. The messages I share with you are just lessons I have learned along the way about HOW to navigate through those hard things.
I have programmed myself to ACCEPT the hard things life deals us and learn how to overcome them, versus falling victim to them. Eventually, I even re-programmed much of how I view the world so that MANY things don’t even seem hard anymore. I was uncrackable… or so I thought. Just recently, I cracked.
I got swept up and FAR away in my own struggles last week. I fell into a hole that I couldn’t seem to pull myself from. And here is the kicker — I didn’t even WANT to get out. It’s not that I LIKED it, but I wasn’t MOTIVATED AT ALL to get myself out of the hole. It felt pretty cozy down there with my anger, bitterness, and victimhood. I was JUSTIFIED to be in that hole.
Don’t worry, I’m back and well on my way out of that hole NOW, but it wasn’t pretty there for a little while.
I even considered canceling our team call or having one of the girls run it. And I certainly debated whether or not I would open up about this struggle to my audience, but then I remembered that I am ALWAYS honest with my MYLFs. It is MUCH harder to talk about my struggles when everything is so FRESH. I’m sure you can relate.
I won’t go down the details of what happened because it doesn’t add anything relevant to the conversation. BUT I am sharing about this struggle as a reminder that I’m also human, and continue to fall down again and again.
That said, I don’t make it a habit to keep falling into the SAME hole. And here’s the catch. Even if you don’t realize it, falling into the same hole over and over has its “perks.” For one, you’re familiar with the hole, so it feels comfortable, even if it is painful. It’s something you more or less know how to deal with.
When you face NEW obstacles, it’s time to upgrade your programming to be able to face these new challenges. What you did before no longer works. So it’s scary, vulnerable, and it may feel easier to sit in your little hole and stay there.
How to step out of the hole once you’re in
First up, a really important lesson: When you are in a hole, your mindset is NOT what will get you OUT of the hole. The hole is dark, and you can’t see clearly. You have to get GOING and moving upward, and THEN your mindset catches up.
So what do we need to do?
F your feelings. F your mood. Just follow the plan
In moments of hardship, you have to take action regardless of how you feel. Your FEELINGS will catch up once you start moving.
It sucks. It’s now what we want. But in many cases, what we want isn’t even good for us. When you’re stuck in a hole, you cannot trust your mindset. Instead, you need to do what you KNOW is the right next step.
We often rely on mood to make decisions, even though they’re largely what keeps us stuck, unable to reach our full potential. Just think of all the times you didn’t do what you KNEW was the right thing simply because you didn’t feel like it? You weren’t in the mood to work out? You didn’t feel like eating your packed lunch?
Moods are based on THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that we hold. These are programmed into us from a very young age. The way adults behave and express themselves around you, or about you, shapes you as you grow. And you have that early programming deep within you. But sometimes, you have to upgrade this programming to overcome the obstacles you face.
It takes TIME, but we can’t afford to just stay put until that happens… because it WON’T happen when you’re down in the hole. You have to get out of the dark and back into the light… even when you don’t WANT to. Because change cannot happen down there…
Change happens up here
Change doesn’t happen when we wait on FEELING LIKE it. In fact, when change is REALLY needed, we probably DON’T FEEL like it quite often.
The thing is, if you live at the mercy of your moods, you will remain STUCK.
We tell ourselves, “I’ll do it when I feel more motivated,” or “I’ll tackle that when I’m in a better headspace.” But here’s the harsh truth: That perfect mood we’re waiting for? It might never come if we KEEP doing this.
Life keeps moving forward while we’re waiting for inspiration to strike. Those small delays compound over time, leading to big setbacks in our personal and professional lives. Projects remain unfinished, goals unmet, and opportunities slip through our fingers.
In our professional lives, when we allow our moods to dictate our actions, we create a pattern of inconsistency that can be devastating to our success. One day we’re producing stellar results, the next we’re barely meeting the minimum requirements.
The cost is just as high in our personal lives. Our mood swings strain relationships. Our personal growth stagnates because we are inconsistent in our efforts to develop better habits. Even worse, we reinforce negative patterns in our behavior. We get better at what we repeat.
Every time we give in to our mood, choosing comfort over commitment, we strengthen the habit of taking the easy way out. Or victimhood. It’s a slippery slope that leads to a cycle of guilt, low self-esteem, and a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. It’s awful.
But here’s the good news: No MYLF should stay in this place. Because we have the tools to get out.
How do we break free from this tyranny of mood?
The answer is simple: “Follow the plan, not the mood.”
In practice, following the plan means creating a roadmap for success and MAKING YOURSELF STICK WITH IT, regardless of how you feel in the moment. It’s about building the mental toughness to push through discomfort and do what needs to be done, even when — especially when — we don’t feel like it.
A plan is POWERFUL. It is your BLUEPRINT for how to get yourself out of the hole you are in.
Chances are you are here because you are working to get yourself out of the health hole, so you HAVE your blueprint already. We give you the blueprint, and you work with your coach to build it out in your life.
You have a CLEAR, ACTIONABLE path laid out for you. All you need to do is follow this path every single day, even when you don’t FEEL like it. You show up every day, even when it is the LAST thing that you want to do.
You repeat those things over and over again until this becomes your new routine, which then turns into good habits.
Why do we need the plan?
A plan provides you with structure to accomplish your goals EVEN when your MOOD is off. It tells you what to do when you don’t feel like it, because the time will pass anyway, and if you follow your mood or inspiration or motivation or whatever, you will remain STUCK.
STRUCTURE offers SUPPORT. So look at it that way. When things feel off, when you just don’t feel like you have it, lean into the SUPPORT of a structured plan.
I find that when I have MORE structure and stick to the plan I made, I stay MORE focused on what I am doing IN THE MOMENT and LESS about my current situation that I don’t like. When I let that structure slip, I find that my mood slips, too.
A plan eliminates decision fatigue. It gives you a clear next step so you’re not constantly thinking, ok, what next? Because chances are you won’t like what you decide under the circumstances that put you in the hole. The goal is to get OUT of your head and INTO reality, and take CONSISTENT actions that will drive RESULTS. Not to let emotion or moods sweep you or keep you stuck.
Following a plan gives you momentum, which helps build your discipline, which gives you results. See how this is a virtous cycle?
You don’t have to be EXCITED about your current situation, but I encourage you to be EXCITED about your action plan from here because that is your ticket out of this place. A plan is your road map out of the hole.
What do you say we come up with a PLAN right now? Contact us to learn more about what we do and how we can work together to help you break free from your mood and stick to your goals.
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