If you ever sign up for one of our courses, you’ll hear a lot about the origin of our actions. We talk abo‚ut intentionality and the stories we believe, sometimes without even realizing that we do. Our belief systems shape our thoughts, which influence our attitudes and emotions, which drive the actions we take.
Let me give you an example.
Several years ago, I lost my 3-week old son, Madden. If you knew me personally at that time, you know that I suffered HARD. It took a good 2 years to start healing from that loss. I walked around VERY angry and feeling VERY much like a victim. You see, at the root of that, my BELIEF was that no mother should have to bury her child. Therefore, my THOUGHTS were focused on how UNFAIR it was that I had to lose my child. I FELT bitter, angry, frustrated, jealous. You name it.
Now, I believe that life is not supposed to be fair. Everyone has to go through hard things. And most importantly, life has terrible moments, but it also has beautiful moments. At the end of the day, the only thing that we can really control is what we believe, what we think, and how we respond to life — which is not always perfect. One of the best tools I have learned how to do is to reframe my thoughts and challenge my underlying beliefs.
Today, I want to talk about reframing, because you will need this skill as you change your lifestyle. There will be moments when you struggle to embrace or accept the things that make up a healthy lifestyle. You may feel yourself resenting healthy food and longing for comfort foods, despising exercise… All of these are normal because you are incorporating things that are newer to you.
Knowing how to notice your thought patterns and recognize them as THOUGHTS — not necessarily truths — will REALLY help you navigate this journey in a way that feels FUN versus HARD.
What is reframing?
Reframing is changing your interpretation of a situation. There are many things in life we can’t change, no matter how much we WANT to. That’s life. It’s not all pleasant, but we can learn to reframe our thoughts surrounding the event in order to handle the ups and downs a little bit better.
Reframing allows you to take back your power. When you’re not focused on actively reframing situations through a positive attitude, you can become a victim in your own life story. With reframing, you shift from the victim to the one in the driver’s seat. You don’t always get to choose what happens to you in life, but you CAN choose to view it from a positive standpoint and look for the good.
Reframe the situation positively
For those of you who don’t know this, my mom went through brain cancer. This is a life event that I was not ready for. In the beginning, I was DEVESTATED. Don’t get me wrong — all the processing in the world didn’t mean I was ever thrilled about it.
But I learned VERY quickly to reframe this event. I could have lost her in a car accident, or never gotten the chance to say good-bye. Instead, I chose to focus on the time I was able to share with her. Everything looked different, but having her around was SO much better than living the year without her completely.
Maybe, right now, for you, it feels like you are being robbed of the things that you love in terms of food. You may feel RESTRICTED, like someone has taken something away from you. Can we reframe this? Is anyone TRULY taking anything away from you? Or are you stepping into the role as CEO of your life and starting to pour MORE life into yourself?
Your story may be that you are bad at cooking or you suck at exercising. What if you started reframing these things as a challenge that you get to overcome versus a problem that you have fallen victim to? Reframe yourself as the problem-solving hero versus the damsel in distress.
Look for the positives in the present moment
We all have bad days, but we can ALL find ways of making our bad days better. It helps to find the good in your day — your wins and gratitude.
No days are ALL bad or ALL good. The truth is, there is a mixture of both. One of the best skills you can develop is learning to focus on how good your life is at THIS MOMENT. Most of the time, we are upset about something that happened in the past, or worried about how something may turn out in the future. ALL of that is taking place in our head. So many times, we can simply bring ourselves back to RIGHT WHERE WE ARE and realize that everything is ok.
You may catch yourself worrying about a craving. Thinking about it nonstop until you convince yourself that you cannot LIVE an entire life without cookies. This THINKING causes you a lot of discomfort — the more you think about it, the more grief you feel and the more likely you are to indulge in the cookies.
Instead, you can identify the thought as simply a passing thought and bring yourself back to the present. Question what will happen if you follow your thought, and think through whether you’re ok with that result, if it aligns with what you’re working on.
Focus on what you can control
Are we concerning ourselves with things that we cannot control? We can ONLY control our beliefs, our thoughts, our actions and our responses to others. Everything else is a waste of time and energy and will ONLY leave you frustrated or angry.
So many of us are in this constant state of trying to control things that we are low-key frustrated MOST of the time. We want to control the way others think about us, the way our children behave, the way people treat us… When things DON’T go the way we want them to, we get mad at THEM versus asking ourselves what WE can do differently to encourage a different outcome.
Develop a realistic attitude
Can you think of something going on in your life that you’ve been dragging a negative attitude into? Is there anywhere you’ve been accepting an outlook of discouragement and defeat?
Do you notice any one thing you keep bringing up or thinking through or complaining about?
Maybe you even really WERE wronged, and you DID deserve better. But you still need to ask yourself, will you let these situations define you or find a way to reframe and rise above them? Because the truth is you can let yourself be a victim or a warrior — it’s ALL in how you frame it.
Reframing your situations will transform you
When you start to reframe the things that happen to you, you will experience:
More personal power
When you think negative thoughts, you tend to feel like things in your life will never change, and you have no choice but to accept what’s going on. In reality, you have a lot more power than you realize. When you start to reframe, you start noticing there are other options available to you that you didn’t notice before.
Less stress
When things DO go wrong, you don’t stress about them the way you used to. It’s not that you won’t encounter difficulties — you certainly will. But when these moments come, you’ll face them differently. You’ll be able to hold your head high and rest contentedly in the knowledge that you can face whatever is thrown at you.
More confidence
As you begin to take your power back and start reframing the problem into a challenge that you CAN overcome, you start to build your confidence. This is when you start to realize that just because a situation SEEMS like the end of the road, it doesn’t make it true. You now know that you can change your perspective, open the door to new solutions, solve that problem.
Ready to transform your perspective and take back control?
Reframing your thoughts isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about choosing to step into the driver’s seat of your own story. When you shift your mind from seeing obstacles as roadblocks to viewing them as opportunities to grow, you unlock a level of power, clarity, and confidence you might not have realized you had.
Learning to notice and reshape your thought patterns takes practice, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you’re ready to break free from self-limiting beliefs and build sustainable, healthy habits that last, we’re here to guide you every step of the way.
Take the next step in your journey: Explore our tailored coaching programs to find the right fit for your goals!
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