Today, we are talking about stuff we’ve discussed before. We recently talked about willpower vs. discipline. Now, we’re talking habits again… sort of. I have covered this topic before, but have had some epiphanies over the last couple of months that have elevated my thinking about this whole thing.
This is where I have to confess something. I have talked about James Clear a LOT in the past. I have referenced his book, Atomic Habits. But I haven’t actually FINISHED the entire book. I am that person that reads half of a lot of books. Except Deep Nutrition — that may be the only book that I read cover to cover MULTIPLE TIMES.
But Atomic Habits, I stopped after I got the important stuff that I needed, the rest I “already knew.” YUCK. I have REALLY grown to HATE that phrase in the last few months. So long story short, I haven’t finished the book. So what I am about to say today MAY already be in that book. And you may be like… duh Jenny, we already knew that.
But I didn’t know that. And I have really started thinking deeply about habits. It’s how Lean Machine was born, honestly. I am, or was, a personal trainer. It is my LIFE. However, I was working out one day and was like, this STILL doesn’t feel like a HABIT. Getting out of bed early in the morning doesn’t feel like a HABIT. Meal prepping is still not feeling like something I AUTOMATICALLY do, like getting in the car and turning on the ignition without consciously thinking about it. I still have to make a decision to do these things.
So if this is something that I don’t feel like it’s AUTOMATING for, how long will it take? This is where I started having some NEW THOUGHTS form around all of this. I was always waiting for these things to feel habitual. Waiting for working out to feel effortless. Or for meal prep to feel automatic. Waiting for waking up early to just happen like second nature.
When you’re waiting for something that isn’t coming, you get disappointed. You feel like you’re failing. Instead of realizing that maybe you just misunderstood the assignment.
And that’s what clicked for me. I already understood this. I just hadn’t put words to it yet.
So today, we’re articulating this idea and breaking down what we’ve been getting wrong about habits, and more importantly, how to make sure these things do become part of who we are. We want to understand the assignment. And by the time I’m finished, you will realize that we already kind of do.
What actually becomes a habit?
If working out, meal prepping, and waking up early don’t ever feel fully automatic, then what does?
Think about the things you do every single day without thinking.
- Buckling your seatbelt.
- Turning off the lights when you leave a room.
- Checking your phone the second you wake up
- Locking the door behind you.
These things don’t really cause a big mental debate, right? You just do them.
Now let’s compare that to something like working out. No matter how many years I’ve been in this space, I still have to decide to do it. I don’t just find myself in the workout room exercising, like how did I even get here!?!?!
So I’ve realized that there’s a difference between an automatic habit and an intentional routine — and I swear this is part of where we start to regress.
Because we are waiting for this to just feel NORMAL, easier. And if THAT is our expectation, and we never get there? It’s so easy to give up. Because you think something is wrong with you that you can’t do the thing that everyone else seems to be doing.
We’ve been operating out of this mentality: Willpower is limited. It runs out, so you need to build a routine. Something that you do SO many times that your brain learns it as a habit.
NOPE. We are going to reprogram this belief today, because that’s not how EVERYTHING works.
“If you do something for X number of days, it’ll become a habit.”
Here’s where we start steering off path. Habits are things that get embedded in our subconscious because they’re low effort, low resistance, and tied to immediate consequences.
Things like fitness, meal prep, and sleep routines are high effort, require decision-making, and don’t always have immediate rewards.
So no matter how long and how consistently you do these things, they will never be automatic habits.
So now the question is — what do we do about it?
The good news is that you already know this part because this is the MAJORITY of what we spend our time on here. But now, we can say I’m there! instead of waiting for something that will never happen.
Exercise never gets EASIER. If it’s easy, you aren’t improving. Meal prepping certainly doesn’t feel EASY to me. I’m busy! I have to make an effort just like you guys. Getting up at 3 this morning wasn’t just something my body AUTOMATICALLY did because I have done it so many times; it learned that pattern.
So, if those things will never be as effortless as brushing your teeth, then what keeps us showing up for the things that feel hard and don’t have an IMMEDIATE payout??
It’s not willpower, because that runs out. We know this. It’s also not motivation, because that is VERY unreliable, especially when you are in your comfort zone. And let me tell you that it doesn’t get much more comfortable than being in a dead sleep, in your warm bed at 3 am.
So what is it that keeps us CONSISTENTLY doing the hard things?
When your actions align with who you BELIEVE you are
THIS is when it doesn’t feel like a chore because it’s part of your identity.
If you’ve worked through the Metabolism Mastery mindset videos, you just went, duh you taught us that in the program! I know. I’m so annoyed with myself that I was saying the surface level cliché thing when I KNEW BETTER deep down.
You build an intentional routine that aligns with getting you to where you are trying to go. Then you stick with that routine, not because it’s a habit but because that’s just who you are.
And I’ll give you the perfect example. My son, Rush is 11, and he says he wants to be a pro soccer player. I don’t care whether he actually becomes one. But if you’re in my vicinity and you express a goal, I will tell you exactly what it takes to achieve it. The DESIRE isn’t enough. And honestly, the PHYSICAL training and talent isn’t enough either.
So we’ve built him out a routine that reflects what someone on that path would actually do. But more importantly, we’re teaching him the mindset that goes with it. Because at the end of the day, that’s the game changer.
He’s not just playing soccer — he’s an athlete. And athletes don’t wait to feel motivated. They don’t rely on willpower. Training is just who they are, what they do, and what’s required to reach their goal.
For him, that means eating enough calories even when he doesn’t feel like it because he’s trying to put on muscle. He doesn’t get to skip his morning workout with his dad just because he wants to sleep in. Going to bed earlier is part of his day. He doesn’t decide if he feels like doing what’s required. Because that’s not how it works.
I bet you’re thinking it is a lot. And I agree. I don’t know other 11 year olds putting in this type of work. We check in regularly about whether this is something he still wants. He gets so frustrated with me when I ask. You promised that you would help me get to my dreams!
His dream is what drives him. Not me PUSHING him. He knows I don’t have the time to dedicate in my day to constantly push him at this. We don’t drag him out of bed. He has to set his alarm and come down dressed and be ready to go to the gym when his dad leaves.
Same with you. I can give you the programming, but it has to MEAN SOMETHING to YOU. Because it’s who YOU are. These are YOUR goals. And the programming aligns with your values to take care of this body that you have been gifted with.
If you have ANY OTHER mindset, you will get burned out.
None of what you’re doing has the goal of becoming effortless
We aren’t exercising, lifting weights, doing cardio, meal prepping, learning new things, logging our food, or going to bed at a decent hour so that these things magically become effortless.
We’re doing these things because they lead to a life we feel good about. One we feel proud of and that aligns with our core values. And we’re always going to have to make the choice to do these things. Yes, we can make our external environment easier to pull these things off. And we should.
- I have my workout already written.
- My weights are set up.
- The camera is set-up in the right place and charged.
- My workout clothes are laid out.
So when I wake up, I just get dressed, put on my makeup, drop the kids off at school, and walk straight into that room and hit record. I don’t have to think about it because I’ve eliminated as many obstacles as I can. But I still have to choose to do it.
That’s what I want you to take away from this. We can help you with the external environment to make this easier:
- A coach to help you figure things out daily
- Your meal plan
- Daily workout plan
You can get your EXTERNAL environment on LOCK. But until you change your internal environment, it’s still going to feel hard. And it’s still going to lead to burnout.
You have to change the stories you’re working from. When you change your stories, your thoughts change. When your thoughts change, your actions change.
And that’s the real work. And it’s not even the hard work. The hard work is doing the things and HATING every second. The easier work is to simply adjust your story. It’s not that hard —I promise you. Everything becomes SIMPLER and EASIER when you change the story, so the thoughts can change.
Ready to change your story?
At the end of the day, nothing you’re doing is supposed to become effortless. The goal is to choose your actions because they align with who you believe you are and who you’re becoming.That belief is what sustains you when the routine still feels hard. So take a moment to reflect: What story are you currently operating from? And what story do you want your actions to reflect? If you’re ready to rewrite that story — the one that shapes your thoughts, your habits, and ultimately your results — MYLF Coaching is here to guide you through the process so you can finally live from a place that feels aligned, powerful, and sustainable.
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