The relationship between a client and coach is often misunderstood, sometimes even stigmatized to the point where people feel embarrassed to ‘have to’ hire a coach or feel like they’ve failed if they need to come back to one.
Today, we are reframing that thought.
Think about the most successful people you know – in business, sports, or any field. Chances are they have at least one coach. Not because they’re incapable of doing it alone or because they’ve failed, but because they understand the power of guidance, accountability, and expertise.
Working with a coach NOT a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of COMMITMENT to yourself and your process. It’s about leveraging someone’s expertise to accelerate your progress.
Just like in any journey, your health journey has different phases. You might start as a beginner, learning the basics. Then you’ll progress to setting more specific goals and fine-tuning your approach. Eventually, you’ll reach a stage where it’s all about maintaining your progress and being part of a supportive community. Your coach shows up for you at each stage differently, adapting their role as your needs change.
Let’s use an analogy that perfectly captures the evolution of a coach-client relationship as you progress through the different phases of your health journey.
Phase 1: Learning to Ride – The Basics of Health
For the last year, I have been trying to teach my daughter how to ride a bike. I thought it was important, so I kept pushing the idea. But no matter how much I encouraged her, she just wasn’t interested.
Then, last week, something changed. She came to me and said, “Mom, I want to learn how to ride a bike.”
The first few hours were pretty rough.
At first, I was holding the seat and the handles and basically doing the work for her and giving TONS of instructions. At this point, I couldn’t even THINK about letting go of the bike because I knew she would just crash and burn.
I was DRIPPING wet after about 30 minutes. We talked about how she had to start doing more of the work to get stronger and understand the mechanics of riding the bike. At this point, I held the bike just by the middle of the handlebar. She had to start using her legs, and it started clicking.
From there, I held the back of the seat so my daughter could control the steering and balancing her body. Things started clicking SO MUCH FASTER. She started building her confidence and learning how to ride the bike.
Here’s where things get funny, and I think we can all relate. When I knew that she had it down and could control herself, I started to let go of the seat. The mistake I made was TELLING her I did it because when she KNEW that I was letting go, she would panic and lose her balance and fall.
So I changed the language. I said, I am happy to keep holding on to you, but I think it’s actually holding you back. So here is the deal. Mommy isn’t going to let go of YOU. YOU are going to leave me behind when you are ready. I’m going to hold you and when you feel good to go, pedal harder and make the bike leave my hand.
She loved that idea. With this new mindset, she totally flew after that, pedaling harder and faster, excited about having personal freedom instead of fearing my absence.
The second the bike left my hand, I ran beside her. I didn’t leave her — I just gave her the control. I was still RIGHT THERE beside her, and I’m glad I was because learning to STOP your bike is an entirely different phase!
Many of us start our health journey in this first phase. We’re learning the basics of how to balance our nutrition, incorporate exercise into our lives, and form healthy habits. Just like I was there for my daughter, holding the seat and offering guidance, that’s what we’re here for in this program.
I want to highlight a couple of things from this story which MUST be present in Phase 1 for you to be successful.
The Power of WANTING Change
First and foremost, notice how quickly my daughter progressed once she decided she WANTED to learn to ride her bike. I didn’t tell you about the last time we tried to ride her bike, because it was a disaster. She didn’t WANT to learn. She felt VICTIMIZED to even be trying. It was a completely different process out there and we ended our session almost as quickly as we started.
This time was different because it wasn’t my idea anymore; it was hers. This is crucial in any transformative journey, including weight loss. It has to be something that YOU want.
You are here because, at some level, you’ve decided you want to make a change. That desire, that internal motivation, is your most powerful tool. It’s the difference between being pushed reluctantly and moving forward with purpose and determination…and being coachable, honestly.
Taking Responsibility
In the beginning, I was doing MOST of the work. She was busy just trying to coordinate and feel comfortable on the bike. After a while, I reminded her that I already know how to ride my bike and if SHE wants to learn, then SHE has to start putting in more effort and not letting me push, steer, and balance it all for her. She learned that all of that would eventually be HER responsibility.
It’s a natural instinct to look for external solutions, hoping someone else can do the hard part for us. But real, lasting change comes when we take responsibility for our journey.
In our weight loss journey, this means acknowledging that while your coach is here to guide you, and be right beside you, giving you advice and education, helping to make decisions, and offering support, the work that keeps you up and moving is all on you.
The self-discipline, the meal prepping, the exercising, the going to sleep on time, the hydrating is all yours. And that’s also EXTREMELY empowering because it means you are developing the skills you need to maintain your success.
Overcoming Fear and Building Confidence
My daughter’s initial panic when I let go of the bike is something I see often in our journey too. There’s a fear of falling, failing, or not being able to maintain balance on our own. But notice how reframing the situation changed everything for her.
Shifting our focus from what we might lose to what we stand to gain changes our entire perspective. Instead of fearing the absence of support, we get excited about our growing independence and strength, knowing your coach isn’t LEAVING you. They are going to hop on their bike right beside you now. It’s just a shift in your relationship. You can now work on OTHER things.
How do I get confident enough to get y’all to “let go of the seat”?
Start TRUSTING yourself. If you have a question, try to decide what you think the answer IS and then ask your coach. You will begin to see over time that you know more than you THINK. They may tweak some things, but you now have even more nuance moving forward.
If you are eating out, scan the menu ahead of time, choose your options, and send to your coach: What do you think about this? versus just sending the whole menu and telling your coach to pick. It builds SO much confidence in knowing that actually, you ARE getting the hang of it.
Any time you notice you are asking your coach AHEAD of time, this is a GREAT sign that you are getting this down. You aren’t waiting until you crash alone before asking.
When you are doing these things, you are already pedaling on your own, you just have to mentally be ok with us being NEXT to you. Visualize that you have started entering phase 2, where our hand is OFF the seat, but we are now riding right next to you.
Phase 2: Fine-Tuning Your Skills – Working with a Coach
Once you’ve learned to ride, does that mean you’re done? Not at all! Think about professional cyclists or triathletes. They already know how to ride a bike, but they still work with coaches because they’re not just trying to ride. They’re trying to ride to the best of their abilities. And through all different types of terrains.
We have discussed what our modern food terrain is.
During this phase, we’re not teaching you the basics or holding you up anymore. Instead, we’re helping you optimize and build the framework into YOUR life. We’re looking at the details: Tweaking your nutrition plan, adjusting your workout routine, helping you manage stress more effectively, and helping you with your mindset.
We’re your cycling coach, helping you get the most out of your ride.
In my daughter’s case, I was trying to teach her how to SLOW DOWN her bike instead of JUMPING OFF while it was moving. I want to take a break? Ok, WEEEEEEEEEE… Jumped off in the grass and the bike went crashing.
How many of us can relate to that? I was like, girl, that is the FASTEST way to hurt yourself. Instead of jumping from a moving object and free falling, let’s plan ahead. Let’s slow our roll and just STEP off.
Maybe you have REACHED your weight loss goals or we are reverse dieting together. Or you come back when you are READY to reverse diet. Or you come back because you entered a race up a HUGE hill and you need help for longer.
The point of phase two is that you have learned the basics, but now you are APPLYING them. And that takes what it takes. I previously talked about hiring my son’s soccer trainer to work with him a while ago because he can pull so much more out of this kid than being in his backyard (which is ALSO necessary) or being at a team practice (which is also necessary). Having a dedicated coach just keeps him focused and improving on his personal weaknesses, and the feedback we get from him is SO HUGE. And no, it’s not always positive. lol
Phase 3: Living in Community – Sustainable Health
What happens after you’ve achieved your goal? Or what if you don’t have a specific race or target in mind? This is where we enter the third phase, arguably the most important one.
In cycling, this would be like joining a riding community or finding a riding buddy. You’re not training for anything specific, but you’re still out there, enjoying the ride, staying in shape, and sharing the experience with others.
In your health journey, this phase is about sustainability and community. It’s about making healthy living a part of your everyday life, not just something you do for a specific goal. It’s about finding your tribe, aka the people who share your values and support your healthy lifestyle.
To you, community could mean joining a running club, participating in group fitness classes, or even just having a walking buddy. It could be staying connected with the friends you’ve made in this program, by staying in MYLF Monthly. The key is that you’re not going it alone. You have a community that supports you, motivates you, and makes the journey enjoyable.
The Role of Support Systems
Moving to phase 3 is all about having the support you need while enjoying your newfound freedom. Just as I was there, holding the seat of my daughter’s bike, ready to steady her if needed, we’re here to support you throughout all phases of your journey.
The coach’s role and the role of this program is to provide you with the knowledge, tools, and encouragement you need. We’re here to hold the seat while you find your balance, to coach you as you finetune your skills, and to be part of your community as you continue your journey. But remember, our ultimate goal is to help you reach a point where you’re confidently pedaling on your own but CHOOSE to be surrounded by a supportive community of fellow “riders.” Remember, once a MYLF always a MYLF.
Knowing where you are is KEY so that you can EMBRACE that phase instead of feeling like you need to be somewhere else
As we wrap up today, I want you to remember my girl on that bike. Remember how she transformed from hesitant and dependent to confident and free. Heck, maybe even think back to when YOU learned to ride a bike. That transformation is available to each of you in your health journey.
This week, I challenge you to identify where you are in your journey. Are you still learning to ride? Are you fine-tuning your skills for a specific goal? Or are you riding along with your community, enjoying the journey?
Reflect on this, and think about one action you can take to move forward in your current phase.
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