Do you remember playing the game Spotlight when you were little? We used to play it all the time with the neighborhood kids. A few weeks ago, my kids were playing it with a friend, and it brought back so many memories.
It’s a little like hide-and-seek but with a twist.
Everyone runs around in the dark, and the person who’s “it” has a flashlight. Their goal is to locate their friends and shine the flashlight on them so they “freeze.” It’s harder than you think because it’s dark and you can’t see. It’s like you can HEAR the little whisperings of everyone around, and if you are really good at the game, you can quickly hone in on your moving target and BOOM, shed some light on them.
We played where as long as the light was shining on them, they couldn’t move. Then you could go tag them and they were it. If you took the light off for even a second, they were allowed to run away. I was the WORST at that. I would hear someone behind me and try to get them and the person I HAD my light trained on would run and then I would get nobody.
This game brings to mind something we all struggle with: FOCUS.
Today, we’re diving into how focus impacts our outcomes and what we can do to grow by shifting our attention in the right direction.
What is focus?
Focus is the ability to direct your attention toward a specific thought, task, or goal. When we define it as an ability, it means it’s something we can improve. Saying, “I just can’t focus,” is no longer an excuse.
Just like learning to walk, ride a bike, or cook, focus improves with consistent practice. It’s a decision you make about where to direct your attention. Out of the 40,000–60,000 thoughts you have in a day, you get to decide which ones are worth your energy.
The power of focus
Your mind is like a chaotic game of Spotlight — filled with thousands of thoughts running in different directions. Some of these thoughts will help you move toward your goals, while others will hold you back.
The ultimate goal is to rework your beliefs so that MOST thoughts are helpful. But that may be tough at first. The key is learning to focus on the thoughts that serve you and letting go of the ones that don’t. Even the most positive people experience negative thoughts, but they’ve learned not to dwell on them. Where we shine our mental “spotlight” determines what gets our energy, attention, and effort.
How focus drives results
The outcomes we achieve are a direct result of the actions we take consistently. Every action results in movement — good or bad, big or small. To accomplish significant change, we need many consistent, intentional actions that align with our goals.
But where do these actions come from?
Behaviors don’t just come out of nowhere. Even if we don’t realize it, our actions are driven by our emotions — how we feel —, which are shaped by our thoughts. And those thoughts stem from our deeply ingrained beliefs.
Here is what this can look like. You have a weight loss goal. You know that to achieve it, you have to consistently eat in a way that will get you there. At first, you are nailing it and seeing a lot of results. Then, over some time, the motivation is gone when the newness wears off. You start to let your actions slip. Suddenly, the scale stops moving, and frustration creeps in. You might think, “I’m working so hard, but nothing’s changing! I might as well eat what I REALLY want.”
That thought stems from certain beliefs, like:
– Change should happen quickly.
– Sacrifice should yield immediate results.
– The number on the scale is the ultimate measure of success.
– Food is punishment or reward.
– Things are ALL or NOTHING. No in-between whatsoever.
These beliefs, whether true or not, shape your thoughts, which influence how you feel and, ultimately, the actions you take.
Rewiring deeply ingrained beliefs is a long-term process. You’ll know that if you’ve been around here for a while. BUT there’s something you can do right now to regain control: develop your ability to focus.
How focus shapes behavior
The thoughts we focus on drive our behavior, which ultimately shapes our outcomes. If you focus on, “This is taking too long. I’ll never get there,” your actions will reflect that belief. You’ll feel discouraged, slack on your habits, and reinforce behaviors that keep you stuck.
BUT if you shift your focus to, “I’m capable of making small progress every day,” your actions will reflect that positivity. You’ll make healthier choices and stay consistent.
Focus works like a spotlight. Whatever you shine it on becomes your reality.
If you focus on fear, doubt, or frustration, those feelings will grow. But if you focus on the next step you can take, the actions that lead you closer to your goal will grow instead.
As the saying goes: “Where focus goes, energy flows.”
How to strengthen your focus
Focus doesn’t happen automatically. It’s a skill that takes time to develop. You will get distracted, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to avoid distractions altogether but to notice when your focus has shifted and bring it back intentionally.
Here’s a step-by-step process to improve your focus:
1. Build awareness
The first step is recognizing when your focus has drifted. Pay attention to the types of thoughts that pull you away from your goals. Are you obsessing over what’s not working? Are you focused on frustrations or doubts?
The moment you notice your focus slipping, label the thought as unhelpful. Awareness is the first step in regaining control.
2. Interrupt the thought
Once you recognize an unhelpful thought, stop it in its tracks. Say something to yourself like, “This thought isn’t helping me right now,” or, “Not helpful.” This simple interruption breaks the cycle before it spirals into negative emotions or actions.
3. Choose a new focus
Shift your attention to something actionable. What can you control right now? Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the next step you can take. For example:
– Instead of thinking, “This process is taking too long,” focus on, “I can drink more water today.”
– Instead of, “I’ve already messed up,” focus on, “I can make my next meal a healthy one.”
4. Develop focus triggers
Create small habits that help you refocus when your mind drifts. This could be taking a deep breath, doing a quick stretch, or writing down your next action step. These triggers help you snap back to the present.
5. Focus on the present action
Avoid worrying about the future or obsessing over outcomes. Ask yourself: “What’s the next best thing I can do right now?” Progress happens one small step at a time.
6. Practice self-compassion
Finally, be kind to yourself. Focus is a skill that takes practice, and it’s normal to slip up. The goal is progress, not perfection.
Where focus goes, growth follows
If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that our focus at MYLF Coaching is to help you regain the driver’s seat of your life. Your focus is one of the most powerful tools you have to achieve that. Choosing to shine your spotlight on thoughts and actions that serve you helps you grow closer to your goals and feel more in control of your journey.
So, the next time your mind feels like it’s playing a chaotic game of Spotlight, remember: You have the power to decide where to shine your light.
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