We recently attended our dance banquet, and I want to start today with a quick story that sparked something that’s been on my mind ever since.
At the banquet, the girls each drew a name and had to come up with a meaningful award for that person. Not something silly or surface-level, but something that reflected how that dancer showed up over the course of the year.
Here’s the catch: most of the girls didn’t know the person they drew super well. So they had to observe and reflect on what they’d seen from the outside — things like their attitude, energy, or consistency — and give the award based on that.
This got me thinking: What if someone was doing that for me? What kind of award would they give me?
Not because I want praise or recognition. But because it made me reflect on how I’m showing up, how people experience me, and what they’re picking up from what I do.
The point of this reflection is not to become a people-pleaser or start worrying about what people think. You’re not acting out of a desire to perform for strangers or shape their opinion of you. The point is to develop self-awareness.
Here’s the ask: If those who spend the most time with you — your kids, your spouse, your best friend, your coach — were asked to describe you, would their description match the version of you that lives in your head?
Because so many of us live in our heads. We think we’re one way, but our actions in the real world don’t always reflect that.
This is what self-awareness is about: Being able to see yourself as you are, accept it without judgment, and work to become more in alignment with how you want to be.
Usually, the way we currently see ourselves and the way we’re actually engaging with the world don’t match up. And this is where frustration lives.
The more self-aware you are, the less frustration you’ll experience because you start to understand your power to change things, instead of constantly blaming everything and everyone around you.
If someone who loves you, someone who’s with you day in and day out, has a different perception of who you are than the version you believe yourself to be, it’s not time to get mad or defensive. They’re not trying to criticize you — they’re simply reacting to what they’ve seen.
And if we want to be perceived differently, we don’t need to worry about correcting their perception. We need to focus on showing up as we want to be perceived.
If you were going home with an award this week, what would it be?
Let’s walk through six “awards” that reflect how you’re showing up in your day-to-day life. Not the version of you in your head, but the version that the people closest to you experience. These awards are here to help you check in and ask: Is the way I see myself matching the way I live?
1. The “Practice What You Preach” Award
🟢 For the one who does what she says, even when no one’s watching.
🔴 Or… are you taking home the “Talks a Big Game” Award? The one who has great plans, but little follow-through.
You might think of yourself as consistent. Most people do—because they remember the times they followed through. But would someone who sees you day in and day out say the same? Would they describe you as someone who shows up, sticks to what they said they’d do, and follows through even when it’s not convenient?
Consistency isn’t just about what you believe you’re doing. It’s about what others can count on from you. If your actions only match your plan when you feel motivated, the outside world will see inconsistency, even if you feel committed on the inside.
That gap — between how consistent you feel and how consistent you actually are — is where progress can stall. It’s also where clarity and results can begin, when you’re willing to bridge it.
2. The Inner Strength Award
🟢 For the one whose mindset lifts the room — calm, steady, focused.
🔴 Or… are you walking away with the “Meltdown Magnet” Medal? The one who spirals often and lets self-doubt run the show.
You might see yourself as someone who’s strong, resilient, or positive. But would someone who spends the day with you pick up on that? Would they describe you as someone who speaks with belief, handles stress with perspective, and doesn’t spiral into negativity? Or would they say you’re hard on yourself, constantly frustrated, or often in a state of self-doubt?
It’s easy to feel like you have a good mindset when you’re thinking through things in your head. But what mindset are you projecting through your actions, tone, reactions, and language?
Because the version of you that exists in your head may be full of intention. But the version others experience is shaped by how you actually carry yourself. And if those don’t match—it’s not a flaw. It’s an opportunity to grow.
3. The “Closer” Award
🟢 For the one who finishes what she starts—again and again.
🔴 Or… did you just earn the “Halfway Hero” Ribbon? Strong starter, quick fader. Great intentions, unfinished execution.
You might see yourself as someone who follows through, intends to get things done, and wants to finish what you start. But what would the people closest to you say? Would they describe you as someone who finishes strong? Or would they see a pattern of good intentions that fade when it gets inconvenient?
Follow-through is what separates effort from outcome. And if the people around you don’t experience your follow-through, it’s because there’s a gap between what you hope to do and what you’re actually doing. Closing that gap isn’t about proving anything to anyone. It’s about becoming someone you trust to finish what you start.
4. The Spark Plug Award
🟢 For the one whose energy shifts the room in the best way.
🔴 Or… is it more like the “Cloud Follower” Award? For those who unintentionally bring the vibe down or exhaust others with their unpredictability.
You might think of yourself as positive, light-hearted, or encouraging. But what kind of energy do people actually feel when they’re around you? Do they feel calm, hopeful, motivated — because of the way you carry yourself? Or do they feel like they have to manage your mood? Are you bringing the kind of energy into your home or relationships that reflects the version of you that you want to be?
You don’t have to be a ray of sunshine 24/7. That’s not real. But your energy is one of the most honest things people experience. Sometimes, the way others describe our energy is more accurate than what we think we’re putting out. So if there’s a gap here, it’s not about shame. It’s about tuning in and choosing differently.
5. Miss “No Excuses” Award
🟢 For the one who owns her actions and never blames the world.
🔴 Or… are you headed home with the “Excuse Collector” Plaque? Always has a reason. Rarely has a result.
You might think of yourself as someone who takes responsibility. But if you really listen, would someone who’s close to you say the same?
When things don’t go to plan, do you step back and evaluate your part? Or is it more natural to blame the schedule, the other person, or the circumstance?
Ownership creates agency. It is the difference between thinking, “this isn’t fair,” and asking, “what can I do with what I’ve got?”
If people around you consistently see you deflect or point fingers, even subtly, it’s a signal that there’s a disconnect between how you see yourself and how you’re showing up. Bridging that gap builds trust with others and, most importantly, with yourself.
6. The “Never Stays Stuck” Award
🟢 For the one who keeps evolving—learning, applying, growing.
🔴 Or… are you holding the “Same Story, Different Day” Trophy? Still saying the same things. Still stuck in the same loop.
You might think of yourself as someone who’s growing. You’re learning, taking in information, joining programs, and reading books. But would someone say they see you changing? Would they describe you as someone who applies what they learn — who evolves, shifts, tries new approaches — or someone who circles the same struggles with slightly different language?
Growth isn’t just about what’s happening in your mind
It’s about what others witness over time.
And if the outside doesn’t match the inside, it doesn’t mean you’re not trying, or that we get mad for people perceiving us in a certain way. It means it might be time to go deeper and act on what you already know.
So I’ll leave you with the question again: What award would the people who love you give you — based on how you’ve shown up lately?
Not based on your intentions or what’s in your head or your heart. But based on what they’ve actually seen.
And if that award feels a little off from what you wish it was… that’s okay. Take it as information to plan your next step. Because who you are and how you act should match. And the beautiful thing is—you have full control over both.
Ready to match your action to your identity?
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