This topic came up because I was recently sitting at soccer practice. When the kids got a break, I immediately pulled out my phone and pretended that I was talking to someone.
WHY? Well, I am trying to teach my son about INTRINSIC motivation. He is that kid — I think we all have one — that when they do something well, they look for you and wait to see you give them the thumbs up. So Rush loves to swing by my chair during practice and ask, “how am I doing??” I am trying to teach him that, when it comes to soccer, I am so proud of him for being someone that works hard, but that I am not going to judge his PERFORMANCE. That is between him and his coaches. He needs to learn to check in HIMSELF. He doesn’t need my approval on EVERY thing he does. I want him to learn to check-in INTERNALLY.
We learn from a young age to seek external rewards or avoid punishments, which I am not necessarily saying is WRONG. But if we always offer up an external reward, our ability to create long-term motivation is limited. If we are ONLY motivated to do something when there is an immediate reward on the table, it is VERY difficult to reach any kind of LONG term reward.
This is where building our intrinsic motivation comes into play.
What is Intrinsic Motivation?
According to the American Psychological Association, intrinsic motivation is an incentive to engage in a specific activity that derives from pleasure in the activity itself rather than because of any external benefits that might be obtained. It is the deep-rooted desire to do something because we find it personally fulfilling, enjoyable, or meaningful.
But what exactly drives this intrinsic motivation?
Personally, I believe ia sense of autonomy DRIVES this intrinsic motivation, meaning that we feel like we are in the driver’s seat. When we feel in control of our own actions and decisions, we are more likely to do what we need to pursue our goals. When we have the freedom to make choices and take ownership of our actions, we become more invested in the process and are more likely to stay motivated in the long run.
I also think the sense of MASTERY drives intrinsic motivation. Humans have an innate desire to improve and grow, and this desire fuels our motivation to learn new skills and excel in our pursuits. When we engage in activities that challenge us and allow us to develop our abilities, we experience a sense of accomplishment and progress. It boosts our self-confidence and motivates us to keep pushing ourselves further.
I ALSO think that When we engage in activities that align with our values and beliefs, we feel a deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. It gives us a sense of purpose beyond external rewards and drives us to make a difference in the world.
Why Intrinsic Motivation Tops Extrinsic Motivation
“To be motivated means to be moved to do something.”
We all need motivation. We’ve had extensive conversations about the role of motivation on this journey. But the larger point is that you can’t RELY on motivation to get through. You have to do it in the ABSENCE of EXTERNAL motivation. You have to build the motivation from WITHIN.
The research shows that when it comes to finding the lasting drive to “do something,” internal incentives are much more powerful than extrinsic rewards. There is a HUGE difference when you engage in something because “YOU WANT” or YOU GET TO as opposed to “YOU HAVE TO.”
Unlocking Your Intrinsic Motivation
Let’s say you need to dig a ditch. Right now, this probably sounds like a chore that you would NOT want to do unless you someone forces or pays you to, both of which are extrinsic motivators. But what if you were digging the ditch to create a swimming pool that would provide your family with YEARS of memories and entertainment? This would PROBABLY shift your perspective on digging that ditch.
Your growth has to come from WITHIN. You have to WANT to do it. Or you will NOT. You may BEGIN, but when the EXTERNAL rewards fade away, so will your motivation to keep doing it.
We feel motivation to go after the things that we WANT. The things that we desire. The problem is that MOST of us want and desire things that are EXTRINSICALLY rewarding. This is why so many people regain their weight. They are addicted to the EXTERNAL reward or punishment from the scale. As long as they are LOSING WEIGHT, they want to keep going. When that stalls out — whether it was DURING your weight loss journey or when you learn how to maintain that weight loss —, many people struggle. That’s because they haven’t learned how to tap into that intrinsic motivation that comes from within.
That is just GREAT, Jenny. I need to WANT to do the healthy lifestyle thing Jenny, but HOW??? I know that I NEED to want those things. But what do I do if I just DON’T LIKE THOSE THINGS?
We can talk about this ‘til the cows come home. But it boils down to a really simple fact. You have things on a pedestal that don’t belong there. These things are DEEPLY ingrained in your life because food has been part of your life ever since you were on this earth. There are so many locked up beliefs surrounding food, depending on your upbringing. And most of those things came from people who probably didn’t have a healthy relationship with food themselves.
This is the work you need to do. The digging….the re-wiring. RE-training and re-parenting yourself to rely on internal driveto seek out things that are good for you, things that bring JOY versus PLEASURE — because they are 2 very different things.
Intrinsic motivation is the key to creating meaningful, sustainable change
It’s about finding fulfillment in the process, rather than relying on external rewards to keep you moving forward. This kind of motivation comes from within. It is the result of your actions aligning with your goals, values, and the person you’re working to become.
So, take a moment to reflect: What drives you? Do external rewards fuel your actions, or do they have deeper roots? What’s one small step you can take today to start building that internal drive?
If you’re ready to dig deeper and start reprogramming your mindset to create lasting change, we are here to help. When you work with our team, we guide you step-by-step toward building habits that align with your goals and teach you how to tap into your intrinsic motivation.
Click here to learn more about MYLF Coaching and get started today.
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