Choose to be great

This whole conversation actually didn’t start with anything. I noticed in my coaching practice, but I wanted to share it, because it’s something we should all think about. 

I started looking into the lives of professional athletes and their coaches—especially those whose parents were their first coaches. And what struck me was how differently these athletes reflected on those early years.  

Some of them, like the Williams sisters and Roger Federer, spoke with so much gratitude. They described their parents as their biggest supporters—people who believed in them, invested in them, and helped bring out their potential. 

But then you have athletes like Andre Agassi calling it complicated. 

He had incredible success, but when you listen to him talk about his career, you can hear the tension. 

He didn’t feel like he chose tennis. 

He says very clearly: “I hated it.” 

Same setup—parent as coach, intense training, big time success. But the experience? Completely different. 

And the point of talking about this today isn’t to decide who is right or which was right or wrong, because that honestly doesn’t matter to us, right? It’s to observe, try to pull meaning from it, and apply lessons to our own lives. 

The power of choosing your path

What I kept coming back to was this question: 

What role does choice play in how we experience being coached? Because that seems to be the line. 

When someone felt like they had chosen the path, coaching felt like support. The sacrifices they made to get to that level were just a prominent part of the journey. 

When it didn’t feel like a choice, the same actions felt like pressure. The sacrifice was too great for the outcome. 

I don’t think this makes one right or wrong; I just think it’s worth noting how much choice plays a role in how the same journey can be experienced in two completely different ways. 

Let’s bring this into real life. 

Our actions create our outcomes. 

That’s true across the board. If we want different outcomes, we have to be willing to make other choices. 

And let’s be honest—that’s not always easy. Making aligned, intentional choices when life is busy, when you’re tired, or uncertain—it’s hard. 

That’s why so many people work with coaches: To stay accountable, be challenged, and see what they can’t see. 

Support vs. pressure: The fine line

When you’re in a good headspace—when you’re connected to your goal—coaching feels like support. You welcome it. But when you’re disconnected, when you’ve lost sight of your why or slipped out of alignment, coaching can start to feel like pressure. 

Here’s what matters: 

Being coached is a choice. And hiring a coach doesn’t remove your responsibility to keep choosing. 

You don’t get to say: “Well, they told me to do it,” and then carry resentment. If it starts to feel like you versus your coach or like you’re doing it to avoid disappointing someone else, you’ve stepped out of ownership. And that’s the moment when even well-meaning support starts to feel like control. 

I think about this with my own kids all the time. 

I want them to be disciplined. To work hard and follow through on what they start. 

But I also want them to feel proud—not just compliant. 

Because those are two very different things. 

When I start to sense resistance, I don’t double down and push harder. I pause and shift into mindset work. I’ll ask: 

“Do you want my answer as your mom or as your coach?” 

And I let them choose. Because I’ve learned—when it feels like someone’s being forced, they’ll shut down. But when it feels like it’s their decision, they’ll show up differently. 

When support starts feeling heavy

Let’s bring it back to you. If support in your life is starting to feel like pressure—that’s not a failure. It’s a signal. It’s your mind and body saying: “Something doesn’t feel like mine anymore.” 

And that’s when it’s time to check back in with yourself. Ask: 

• Am I still choosing this? 
• Do I still want the outcome I said I wanted? 
• Have I lost connection to why I started? 

Because when you reclaim your choice, everything shifts. Coaching feels lighter. Direction feels helpful again. 

You start feeling proud of your actions instead of feeling like they’re happening to you.  

Big goals always require some kind of sacrifice. There’s no way around that. 

Time. Energy. Comfort. Ease. 

Something has to give.  

And when you choose that sacrifice—when you say: “This is worth it to me”—it’s hard, yes, but it’s meaningful. 

That’s what leads to the goal of actually feeling good when you get there. 

But if you don’t choose it —if you just go along with what someone else tells you to do, even if you hit the goal —it won’t feel right. It’ll feel like something was done to you—not something you built.  

And I’ll say this as gently as I can: 

Nobody should care more about your goal than you do. 

Not your coach, your partner, or your best friend. That goal has to belong to you. 

Choose it. Own it. Earn it.

So whatever it is you’re working toward—own it. 

Choose the complex parts with intention. And when it gets heavy, don’t pull away. Just pause, reset, and choose it again. 

Because when you know the goal is yours, you can walk through discomfort with a completely different mindset. 

And when you get there? 

You’ll know it wasn’t luck. 

You won’t owe it to anyone else. 

You’ll know: I chose this. I showed up. I earned this. 

And there is nothing more powerful than that. 

Feeling disconnected from your goal?

Then stop outsourcing your ambition—and start choosing it again.
Get in touch and we’ll strategize how to make your goal feel like yours, every step of the way.